i feel off lately.
my neck has been itching a lot, which leads me to believe i have some kind of rash but really that seems impossible. its frustrating and i want it to go away and it feels too much like my life (its annoying at times, and at others fine).
i took a census test today so that i can possibly get a job taking the census. despite the fact that i got all of the questions correct, resulting in a grade of 100%, it does not make up for the fact that i constantly feel like my life has no purpose.
i think that this whole unemployment gig has got me feeling self conscious/bad about myself. i feel bad about much more than just not working. i think it is clouding my whole judgment of myself. its stupid and makes no sense, but that is all i am willing to admit in trying to explain it. i know that having a job may not change this, as i need to be doing something i feel good about, but i do need someone to answer too, and it cant just be my friends. i have been trying super hard to be productive, but nothing feels like its worth it really. matt gordon keeps telling me that i need to reevaluate what i think counts as progress/productivity/etc, but i cant get myself to do it.
for the most part, i have not been eating lunch which results in a grumpy-too-hungry-to-make-food-and-eat-it-cheryl. i need to get over that too.
kate is coming home today and that feels good.
klessa is going on tour next week, so you should come see us (this also feels good)!
1/10 @ Market Market in Rosendale
Klessa, Why the Wires, Jordaan Mason and the Horse Museum, Orion, Igloom
8:00. This show is going to be ridiculous, and if you miss it you're crazy.
1/12 @ no radio records in ithaca
Klessa, Jordaan Mason and the Horse Museum, Why the Wires
1/13 @ erik and tim's house in Rochester
Klessa, Jordaan Mason and the Horse Museum...more?
1/14 (my birthday) @ the oxford hotel in Toronto
Klessa, Jordaan Mason and the horse museum, Sarah D, Whatever Jailer, Teadora Nikolova
1/15 @ the tranzac in Toronto
Klessa, Jordaan Mason and The Horse Museum, Sarah D, Teadora Nikolova
1/16 @ the Kitschen in Guelphh
Klessa, Jordaan Mason and the Horse Museum, Sarah D, Teadora Nikolova
1/17 @ Castle Rockmore in Syracuse
Klessa, Hello Halebopp, Marco Polio, Tailings
adresses and stuff here: www.myspace.com/plancakes
i am looking forward to this/need this. i get to wake up on my birthday in my parents house and spend the whole day with really awesome people in a really awesome house.
i cant imagine anything better.
thats all. i need to stop feeling bad for/about myself and start doing sweet shit.